Wednesday 28 November 2012

Interview time with A Band of Orcs!

Well to be specific just Gronk! The rest of the band were busy getting hammered off of our water and listening to Slayer! To those who don't know, A Band of Orcs is a fantasy themed heavy metal band from Santa Cruz, California. They were summoned to Earth through a game of Dungeons and Dragons, after a run in with the musical tidings of Slayer, they picked up a different kind of axe and vowed to destroy our ears with their sweet Orcish death music! Oh yes, you just read what you think you did! The Shaman Bassist Gronk! was able to spend some time with me and offer some insight into the ideas and purpose of the Orc warriors. If you thought the Fondlecorpse interview was entertaining, you're in for a whole new trip!

Stream 'In the Keepers Chamber' the first single from their latest album 'Adding Heads to the Pile'

1.  Who are you? 
Me Gronk!.

2.  Where are you from? 
Me dual Warchiefhail from Hirntodianow live in Santa Cruz Vortex

3.  What do you do?
Me proselytize wicked with Malspel of Gzoroth; me play metal for Gzoroth.

4.  Why do you do this?
Why you ask much many questions?  You one paladin-inquisitor or one such?

5.  I'll be honest, I've never interviewed an Orc before. Are all Orcs metalheads? Or is it something you picked up being stranded on Earth.
Metal sound same same as Hirntodia Folk-orc music, but have electric magic power, so stronger, Hail Gzoroth!!!

6.  By the way, how do you like our planet? Better than Hirntodia?
Easier. Hirntodia everyday battle, here everyday war partyhuman leaders give great example of how be lazy evilgreat show!

7.  I keep hearing rumors that you actually want to "dominate" and "enslave" us. What a silly notion eh? 
Why that silly? Truth bout humies, you already Dominated an Enslavinated by other stupid humiesus think orc Dominate and enslave you do humies one favor, hahahahahahah!!!! Humies should welcome Domination and Gzoroth….

Gronk! In all his glory.
8.  Tell me a bit about your fellow Orcs, they all seem to have some pretty brutal names! (Gogog Bloodthroat,Hulg ElfRipper,Cretos Filthgrinder,Oog Skullbasher)
Gronk! The most visually appealing member.
Ummerer..ummm, Gogog Leader cuz him kill his father previous WarChief now him hold tribal axe of Gore-Stained Axe Tribe.  Hulg warrior play crunchy guitar, him used to be zombie dead, but now, us not knowhim go through Vortex to Hirntodia and come back look like gargoyle, but still Hulg somehowus not know. It sometime happens in Vortex.  Cretos used be muscular but him get stuck in giant dungeon and starved for a time and come back through Vortex, now look like goblin on hunger strike, ahahahahahstill shred though.  Travel between dimensions do strange.  Me lost helmet do that.  Oog smash war drums and hunt unicorn in Hirntodia, but him also have problem with Vortex.  Him have uni-tusk that migrate.  Really wyrd.  Chaos. Gronk! love Mother Chaos.  Gzoroth dragon of chaos.

9.  Your first ep, 'Warchiefs of the Apocalypse' introduced you guys to the world, were the results what you expected?
Us not expect humans welcome enslavers as liberators, but us like! Us not actually know what expect, cuz us never do metal beforeus always spill blood before, but now spill evil notes, ahahhaahha.  Us pleased but want morewant Dominate entire human ear-realmhail Gzoroth!!!!

10.The full length 'Adding Heads to the Pile' tells tales of your past. What can we expect from it? 
Humies can expect get heads chopped off with orctastic metal. Listen for human self and see if head comes off, hahahahahaha!!!  Add your head to the pile….

11.For somebody that has never heard your material before, where is the best song to start?
Best way to take 20-sided die and roll random encounter table. Like soyou roll:

1-I, Gogog
2-WarChiefs of the Apocalypse
3-Bring Out Your Dead
4- Ignore and roll again, cuz this cover song of Celtic Frost “Procreation (of the Wicked),” you should hear orc song or listen to thiswho caresstill brutal
5- Disassembly Line (Instrumetal)
6- Descent/actually, roll again, this intro to next song, but next song is next song.
7- Into the Maelstrom
8-Prepare for Domination
9-When the Hills Run Red
10-In the Keeper’s Chamber
11-Of Broken Chains & Shattered Skulls
12-Wyrd of the Winter Wolf
13-The Darkness that Comes Before (Interlude)
14-Hall of the Frozen Dead
15-Lair of the Ice Wyrm
17-At the Mouth of Fire
18-Fall of the Firelord
19-Adding Heads to the Pile
20-A Deeper Evil (Instrumetal)

12.Even if you hate all humans, you must of made some friends over the years, do you know any bands that you would give an Orc seal of approval to?
Oh,yes, orcs approve and spare many human bands, cuz they wield magic of metal with great brutality or whimsy. Above all: Slayer!  Maiden, Priest, Behemoth, Amon Amarth, Machine Head, Testament, Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel, Satyricon, Sabbath, Suffocation, Metallica, Exmortus, Sothis, Fiends at Feast, Nekrogoblikon, Short Fuse, ArnoCorps, list actually much longer but these Gronk! listen right now, but much many more, Decrepit Birthy, Gojira, Slip Knot, Sepultura, even Dragonforce, ahahhahahhaHail Gzoroth!!!!!!  Gronk! listen punk orc music too, Bad Religion too, cuz Gzoroth one bad religion ahahahahaha!

13.I know death metal is the best fit for merciless Orcs but what was the inspiration to play it?
Slayer “Raining Blood” inspire usses play metal when usses find Jed in bedroom play guitar to such deliciously hellish sound.  Us spare him so him teach us how to do such magic called metal.

14.Speaking of inspiration, you managed to get Chuck Lukacs to do your album art. Chuck is known for his artwork for 'Magic: The Gathering' how did he react when he realized that some of his favorite creations, Orcs, were real? 
Adding Heads to the Pile, Out Now.
Adding Heads to the Pile. Out now.
Me not know him ever draw orc before us.  Usses creation of Gzoroth and Chaos. Ha!  Him gladhim happy we spare him and him have hope for humanity after all when discover usses want him draw us.  At time us think flash photo one magic user throw lightning bolts at us and kill much many photographers.  Us manager Gruesom Grimp hire Chuck to draw usses until us learn not to have tusk-jerk reaction of kill photosorcerers.  It work out okaynow Chuck permanently spared and us add human art-sorceress Lorraine Schleter to artist slave stable,too.  Her do art on CD insert and Chuck do cover and map art.  Them spared!!!! Hail Gzoroth!!!!

15. There has been hints of more tales, and perhaps more albums. What does the future have in store for your Band of Orcs? 
Domaintion!!!  Us tell more tales of us brutality, enslave more ears, drink more water!  Human water get usses very drunk!!!  This best realm in Multiverse, so much water!!!!!  Hail Gzoroth!!!! Us not know what tales to tell yet but uss have started working new metal for next album already.

15.What do you think of piracy? The act of downloading music, not pirates, orcs vs pirates probably wouldn't end well.
Humans all pirates. Pirates sometimes give gold to needy humans, sometimes always keep for self let humans die.  Pirates live in giant spires in mercantile cities in human realms, but humies not do anything bout them when pirate much many masses of gold, ahahahaha. Internet realm pirates not kill humans though, so me prefer spire pirates cuz they do death harm destruction, ahahahahah.  Humies must like being slaves, so we come to help!!!!

16.Let's assume one day our Military decides to take action and exiles you guys to an isolated album, you managed to grab 3 albums to listen to while your there. What would they be? (I have to explain this one, It should of said 'isolated island' not album! Gronk did a good job of going with the flow though, my bad Gronk!)
An “isolated album?”  Hmmmlet Gronk! thinkhmmmmaybe me like to be in Powerslave, go fly in mechanical dragon-thingy with Eddie, or sail ship and kill albatross, or fight duels with metal demi-god called Bruce, or raid back in villages, resurrect mummiesHail Gzoroth, sound like lotsa fun!  Me take albums with me: Reigning Blood, Number of the Beast, Ride the Lightningnot need to take Powerslave cuz me be there, ahhahaah!!!

Well thats about it, I'm sure you have Orc-ish things to attend to. I appreciate the time you have given me for this interview. Do you have any last words to all your subserviant fans?
Yes! Buy new album “Adding Heads to the Pile” and you us spare when the Domination comesHail Gzoroth!!!!

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